Another snow day today! No school at Akron Public Schools, so no UV. Also, no bball game for Abby to dance at. So I worked on school prep for tomorrow and next Monday. I got a lot done and then went for a walk. We got about 8 inches of snow, but it was close to 40 degrees today, so anywhere that it was shoveled, the snow melted and dried up fast in the sun. Our deck is super-deep, but many people had snow-blown so the sidewalks were amazingly clear.
It was good to get outside. I hadn't walked since the lovely weather last Friday, so this was different, but it was really pretty if I could fully appreciate it and didn't just want it to be over. It was the kind of snow that coated all of the evergreens to make them look like they had thick white frosting on them.
I need to make dinner soon, and I'm not sure what to make since I hadn't planned anything with expecting to be at UV and all. Abby says she's not tired of quiche yet, and we always have stuff to make that so....it may be quiche night again.
I am hoping to get to read more of The Element tonight, but last night I read our chapter for EHS this week. It was called, "Going Back in Order to Go Forward" about families and the power of our family to affect how we think and live our lives. Even going back several generations according to the Bible. He talked about several areas that families have good or bad affects on--like money, conflict, anger, family, relationships, attitudes toward different cultures, success...Just how every family has views on those things that are passed along--sometimes stated and sometimes just felt.
He talked about how we kind of need to leave our family's negative affects like the children of Israel needed to leave Egypt. Even after they left, they carried with them a lot of Egyptian culture and thinking. But they needed to rewrite their thinking to be in line with God.
I thought this was good: Discipleship, then, is the putting off of the sinful patterns and habits of our biological families and being transformed to live as members of Christ's family. Also: We honor our parents, culture, and histories, but we obey God.
I can think of many things I have had to overcome from my family growing up that were even well-meaning at times, but that weren't really what God wanted from me. Probably a lot of my over-achievingness came from trying to make others happy. I can't really say that I ever felt like anyone wasn't happy with me--I just didn't want to risk it, so I always tried to do the best I could! Or maybe I took little comments to heart and as criticism or something.
And I'm sure that Jeff and I have done things that have not been the best for our family even though our desire was always to do the best for them. We aren't perfect though, and I'm sure that even our well-meaning intentions didn't come across right, or things that we still don't realize about ourselves that are sinful have bled through. It's enough to make you afraid to be a parent! But since we already are, and our girls are almost all grown, just let me say: I'm sorry for things that we haven't done right, and if there are things you need for us to apologize about at any time, please let us know. We've always really tried to do the most loving thing for each of you, but we may have missed the mark along the way.
One encouraging thing though was something called "The Beaver System Model" which I don't think has anything to do with actual beavers. There are five levels of family health based on how they understand their boundaries. Level 5 is a really severely disturbed family--not us--whew! By the grace of God!
Level 4 is a borderline family--dictatorship, black and white rules, rigid, no one can disagree.
Level 3 is rule bound--feeling loved depends on everyone obeying the unspoken rules--invisible referee with rules of the system more important than the individual.
Level 2 & 1: Adequate and optimal--ability to be flexible and to cherish each individual, valuing a sense of closeness, good feelings, trust, teamwork.
What distinguishes 1 from 2 is delight: level 1 families truly delight in being with one another.
Ahh....I think our family really, truly does delight in being together. And for that I am really, truly thankful. We may have done some things wrong along the way, but I am grateful for the love and relationships within our family that we delight in. All by the grace of God I know!
And now, I must go and make dinner for my family who is here and will be hungry in about an hour! Until later, dear readers!
2 comments:
I like being a Level 1 Family! =D And I have to say, for all the things that COULD'VE gone wrong in our upbringing, enough didn't that we haven't made it to any kind of counseling to figure out what DID, so I'd call that a success! haha! =) I'm always thankful when I see people who are really insecure or wounded from their family backgrounds--you can usually pick them out in a crowd fairly easily, at least I can find a couple highlights in a group of Americans--and remember that there's no real reason that that's not me, besides God's grace => my parents' good decisions... :)
Indeed--we have much to be thankful for, don't we?
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