Tuesday, July 06, 2010

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Amazing how much drama can occur in less than 24 hours! It was short-lived, but intense while it lasted...am I keeping you in suspense long enough? OK, so last night I was in bed, lights out, TV off, almost asleep, when Jeff came upstairs and started to get ready for bed. He went back out of our room and then back in and got on the computer and started typing away. I had felt like in Madeline: "something is not right!" but was trying not to think and just go to sleep because we had Urban Vision this morning...but I couldn't not ask. He said, "Just go to sleep," like he knew whatever it was would wake me up. I figured it had something to do with one of the girls, and moms cannot just roll over and go to sleep when "something is not right!" So he told me. "Hannah got moved to Wright Hall with Judi. Second floor, but 21 year olds are allowed to drink in there." It's farther away than even Eastway from the center of campus. He was right; I was wide awake and freaking out! Hannah had been taking a shower and came in. She had checked her room assignment again for some reason before going to bed--glad she checked and saw it, but maybe not just then! We assured her Jeff would call in the morning and see why they took her out of the Honors Dorm (probably because they just then came to Judi's application and moved Hannah to be with her?) and if they can please put her back in. We prayed and that should have been the end of it; go to sleep and deal with it in the morning.

But for some reason, I just completely lost it thinking about Hannah being in that dorm after already being put in Johnson--what a disappointment for her, even if it would be with Judi. I think she's been imagining herself there and expecting to be there and then finding out she WAS there was very exciting, even if there was that question of being with two roommates instead of one. But to have rug pulled out from under her just seemed so unfair.

I was up for quite a while hashing things out with God and Jeff. Hannah has done such a good job and has worked very hard, and it's hard for me to see things fall through for her. I wanted to just be able to say, "God is in control, and everything will work out OK." But I don't know if it was because it was such a shock late at night, or because of the mood I was in, or what, but it was just very extremely hard. It took some time and some venting at God (the Biblical wording is "pouring my heart out to God" but it was not nearly that poetic) to get to the point of settling down and going to sleep. I know God knows everything that's in my heart, so I always feel like I might just as well say it. It might expose how much of a baby I really am sometimes, but again, God knows that too. No shock to Him, and He can handle it (as Dennis used to say).

I thought of those words to the Twila Paris song "Do I Trust You?" and that is really what it always boils down to: Sometimes my little heart can't understand What's in Your will, What's in Your plan. So many times I'm tempted to ask you Why? But I can never forget it for long, Lord, what You do could not be wrong, So I believe You, even when I must cry...

I didn't sleep well, and woke up around 6:30am--seemed like 8am would never come so Jeff could call. I decided to get up at 7:15am and go for a walk before UV--partly because it's so hot during the day, and partly just to burn off some adrenaline and stress I think. I prayed through everything again a little more rationally and got to the point of being able to really pray for God's will for Hannah even if it's different from what we/she think(s). Of course I KNOW in my head that God always does know best, that He loves Hannah more than we ever could, that He wants to give her good things, and that He has an awesome plan for her life. It just takes some time for emotions to catch up with head knowledge sometimes.

I realized today too, that even Jesus had to go through that process (on a much grander scale than my small issues). He knew God personally and intimately and knew exactly why He had come to earth, but when the time came, it was OK for Him to ask God to change the plans if possible so He wouldn't actually have to go through it. He was very distressed and distraught, and that was OK. I realize that my problems are miniscule in comparison to what Jesus was facing, but I was so thankful that God allowed us to see that struggle instead of just glossing over it and making it seem wrong somehow to ask and wrestle with God's will at times.

So when I got home from my walk, Jeff called and had to leave a message for the man who "deals with these kinds of situations" (which I imagined the person to be thinking "the helicopter parents who demand their kid be in the dorm they want"--but of course, that may be just me being paranoid). Before we had to leave for UV, the man called Jeff back and said he'd take care of it and make it happen. That sounded promising, so at least we could go to UV and do our jobs feeling like something good was happening. And all went smoothly there (our last day of the summer program), and when we were getting ready to leave, Abby checked her phone and Jeff had left a voice mail that Hannah's assignment now says, Johnson 129 with one roommate right next to where she was before with 2. So, we'll see if that sticks. Mr. Taylor said in the morning that she was probably one of the last to get in since she was in a 3 person room, and for some reason that may make it easier to put her back (maybe because he could have put her back in a 3 person room?)

Now we all feel bad about Judi--still don't know why they weren't put together in Sto-Jo--if she's not an honors student, if she didn't get her application in until later, don't know...but we are praying for her to have an awesome roommate in a good dorm situation. As much as Hannah would have liked to room with her, living in Sto-Jo has been a long-time desire, and will be a much better place for her to study effectively too. Hopefully they can still be friends and spend lots of time together.

Whew! So that's been the drama, and until we get the actual letter in the mail, I am still praying that things don't change again. H's new roommate seems to be a sophomore from fb stalking. :)

Other than that, things have been just the usual. H. is at work, Jeff and took the van to get the brakes fixed before the big LT trip, we had pancakes and bacon for dinner. Although I chose to have a BL sandwich instead (didn't even miss the tomato). Tomorrow we plan to do the library, Giant Eagle, bank trip. Seems funny to buy groceries before a trip, but we do need some things that are on sale. And bananas. Ours are over-ripe--maybe I'll get Abby to make banana bread.

Meme and Pops are coming on Thursday to take Greta to Grandma Camp. We saw this ad in a coupon flyer for a doggy camp. "Play all day. Snooze the night away." With certified camp counselors! They even had a free one day camp coupon, but it said the "camper must pass the Interview before being accepted." Or something like that! We decided Greta better stick with Grandma who loves her no matter what! :)

So, that's the news here--the good, the bad, and the ugly. And thankfully, God loves us in all of it--even when we're the ugly! :)

1 comment:

Kaite said...

Oh me oh me oh my! *pop*

It's much better to hear Mom's side of the story--Dad just says that the drama existed and summarizes. :) I LOVE the Madeline and "Do I trust you" references, and I'm glad everything worked out! A sophomore might be better than freshmen who are just stretching their wings. Feelings definitely make better thermometers than thermostats.

Hope everything goes awesomely at LT! I'll be praying for you all! :)