And sometimes it stays hard...

I was planning to write about how LT suddenly turned "not hard" and everything fell into place after a few days, but it just never did. It was different from the other years we went, and although I have an idea of why, I still don't totally understand it. It felt like there were good moments when I thought we were on track, but then there were many others when I felt like we were inconveniencing the kids to make them spend time talking about what they were learning, etc. They really were anxious to always be spending time with other churches, which was fine, but not at every spare minute. I know I wasn't appreciated for being the bad guy, but it was my job as I saw it. I don't remember having those issues before. Oh well, we're having a meeting tomorrow night to "debrief" and I'm sure I'll have plenty to apologize about. I'm ready to be done with it and move on. We're meeting with the LT leaders and Pastor Mike. I'm trying to remember that reproof is good and that it makes us wise and gives us understanding, and that I can always just apologize and move on. Hopefully!

I've been very tired as expected, but got a lot done today to feel back on top of things: laundry, Giant Eagle, bills paid, email, etc. I have so much to do to get ready for classes this fall, but today all I could deal with was what needed to be done. Stacey had asked us to help with a party at UV this afternoon, but when she called today, I had to tell her we just couldn't. Hannah had to work and Abby wanted to see Katie Fuller, and I knew I had to get stuff done today or it wouldn't happen. Felt bad, but I can only do what I can do.

Had a great time skyping with Katie this afternoon. We had a nice long chat and got to hear more about life in Dresden. The summer is going fast, and we're looking forward to having her home, but I can feel for her the desire to hang on to every minute of the time in Germany. It's funny, but as much as I miss her, I can feel a little taste of living in another country from her blogs and talking to her, and now that she's all settled and able to do what she needs to do, I can understand the sadness of having to leave in a few weeks. It's been an amazing experience in so many ways. I was thinking today of how I was hoping that she would find a church or Bible study that could just "tide her over" spiritually until she could come home, since Europe isn't known for having a real spiritual passion. But instead, God in His desire to give in ABUNDANCE, has helped her find an amazing group of people who love Jesus with all of their hearts. What a great gift! A "feast of fellowship" if you will!

And so too, God has been reminding me all day through the last song we sang at LT that is stuck in my head..."He loves us, Oh, How He loves us, Oh how He loves us, How He loves us all..." "if His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking..." God gives generously if we are willing to receive. Pastor Mike talked about that yesterday too. Will we always be insisting on working to get what we need, or will we be willing to let God give to us if He wants to? We can't work to earn our salvation, and there are times in our Christian life that we can't work to grow, get grace, etc. God wants to give. Of course, there are other times we need to work hard, but the trick is figuring out which is which. Grace and love are always gifts though, that much I do know.

It was so encouraging to be with mature Christian leaders all week. There were so many amazing examples of servanthood that we got to observe and be blessed by. It was humbling to think of all people were doing for us when they had their own churches and kids to take care of too. Gary Shook and Toni Michael were amazing because they did the adult leader stuff and took care of us. They made us feel like we weren't alone and if we needed anything they were there to help. And then when we did ask for help, they totally gave it. I heard Gary say when someone said his name (for the hundredth plus time): "Gary?" "How can I help you?" An automatic response of genuine desire to be of help in any way even after doing it all week. It doesn't sound amazing here, but it was in real life. And yet he would say, "We're not mature" when Jeff told him it was encouraging to be around all of those mature leaders all week.

Tomorrow I am going to Angie's with Alycia and maybe Laura to chat and have lunch. I made pasta salad and got hot dogs for the kids so we could all eat together. We usually don't get done until it's past the kids lunch time and that makes it harder for them. So, since I didn't have to cook all last week, I made stuff while making meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner.

Did I mention the food at LT was EPIC? Yes, it really was. Breakfast and lunch was done by Rosemary who did an amazing job of feeding everyone. Dinner was in the dining hall. They have a "Real Food on Campus" campaign and the food was excellent. It was all you could eat, but they had a "green plate club" and asked that you only take what you can eat. They didn't have trays, and they had several stations that served the same things so you didn't have to stand in line at one place. Pasta with spicy marinara sauce, amazing green beans, sweet potatoes, stuffed tomatoes, pork roast (that tasted like something, not just bland), salad bar, fruit, brownies with nuts (I learned the hard way to get my brownie with my meal because otherwise, the many campers took them all!), real pizza (not just greasy cheese), burritos, yum, yum, yum!! And I got a large glass of sweet tea every night with dinner as my treat for dealing with all the headaches of the day. Since I don't "drink" for real! :) Having such good food really did make me happy every day and made it easier to deal with the dorms and other issues.

Well, it is now time to go to bed. It's 10:30pm no matter what the time says on my blog. And I am tired. And I will probably be tired for some time, so better start trying to get rested.